Monday, April 21, 2008  11:11 PM
The twentysomethings loss
Another year, another birthday, a fleeting sense of a period of time transpiring.
6, 7, 9, 11, 16. Somehow I only remember those birthdays. And of course, you don't ever forget your twenty-first, which was a delightfully dizzy memory I'll always remember. Those Disneyland teacups really jolt themselves into your brain.
It's sad how this year all I can think about is a loss of idealism - maybe it's all part of venturing into adulthood and moving on from the forever-young 21 you don't want to leave behind. I feel like last year I've been through the scariest rollercoaster ride of my life, the highs, the lows and the upside-down loops. The anticipation of the ascent and the mind-blowing drops. Somehow, throughout the year, I lost a part of myself. The holed-up little girl inside that only knew how to be loved faded away slowly - to become wary, edgy, tired and frightened of the world around her. You all grown up will roll your eyes and say it's about time, babe - it probably was. I said goodbye to childish chocolate-stained smiles and perfection in others. It was a trade-off to a world I never quite knew but grew to accept and understand. And the only way around it was to grip on steadfastly to my faith and to those that never did let me fall completely.
I celebrate the joys of imperfection because it only heightens His perfection. I bid farewell to the illusions of the princess in the yellow gown and I look to the long road ahead. Maybe someday my plastic slippers will still turn into red-soled Louboutins, but that will be a new lease of life altogether.
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