Wednesday, April 26, 2006  12:39 AM
Birthdays and wishes
When I was seven, I got to wear a princess-like dress with a puffy skirt on my birthday and even though the stockings that matched annoyed me to no end, I persevered for the sake of beauty.
When I was nine, I had a bash at that huge indoor playground thing that was so the fad at that time - FunDazzle or the equivalent of it - and all my friends were so late I almost cried thinking no one was going to show up.
When I was sixteen, ten of my best friends threw a surprise birthday party for me at Hotel Phoenix, collaborating with my mom to trick me. Some of them pretended they had to leave the dinner early, and I was seriously genuinely taken in and had to try my best to hide my disappointment. Who knew that they were all in it together and when I got back to the hotel room, they held a lit cake in front of my face and sang "Happy Birthday", with me - what else - crying. The room was so beautifully decorated as well with balloons and Josh Hartnett postcards. Haha. It was my best birthday yet.
And so as another birthday comes round the corner, I'm reminded of the last nineteen birthdays I've had and how as we grow older, birthdays just become insignificant days. In the past, I used to countdown to my birthday. I'd start getting really excited on the 21st, and then begins the six days left, five days left... These days, it feels as if it's just another day. Turning 20 scares me too. I'm no more in my teens and it's as if all the excuses you give for the stupid things you do when you're a teenager are no longer valid. When you're celebrating your tenth birthday, everyone gets excited about your party. When you turn 20, throwing any kind of celebration seems more like an obligation for people to come more than anything else.
I see why my parents dread their birthdays. I can't imagine what it'd be like at my 50th birthday. SCARY. I'd be asking for botox injections.
But still, coming up with my unattainable birthday wishlist is part of the birthday fun. So here goes!
1) For Victoria's Secret to be my next-door neighbour
2) An Oscar de la Renta gown
3) A Kate Spade bag
4) A lifetime's subscription to Cosmopolitan and Vogue
5) Midnight shopping at the Mall of America
6) To choose anything I want from Tiffany & Co.
7) A round-the-world trip with my best friends with that Josh Hartnett or Michael Vartan lookalike paying for it and appearing whenever I need him to carry my shopping bags
8) For Johor Bahru to suddenly become Australia
9) A BMW convertible that comes with a personal driver, preferably young and cute and not old and balding
10) For every moment to be captured immediately on film so I don't have to keep whipping out my camera and finding random people along Orchard Road to take pictures of me and my friends
11) Not to fail communication research - Perhaps Lee Wai Peng could spill coffee all over my answer script and give me an A as compensation
12) A Ben & Jerry's ice-cream maker
13) That London was just ten seconds away so that I could visit my best friends anytime I wanted
14) Manolo Blahnik as my new best friend?
15) Or if not, Sarah Jessica Parker will do because she gives away the Manolos for free
16) The Beijing Fengwei in school to be transformed magically into Crystal Jade
17) For Cantonese to be the second language here instead of Mandarin
18) For the country to have four seasons
19) A lavender rose garden outside my door complete with fairy lights
20) To be able to love everyone unconditionally
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Saturday, April 15, 2006 3:53 AM
Baptism
Ten years ago, I thought that Jesus Christ couldn't hear our prayers on Good Friday because He died on the cross for our sins on that very day.
I finally went through the waters of baptism today, finally realising God's sovereign reign over my life and how much I've come to depend on Him over the last few years.
It wasn't that I was unsure of my faith. Since I was a little girl, I've been attending Sunday School and did everything a young Christian girl being brought up in a Christian family would do like attending superfun church camps and mugging for memory quizzes. It was more of not realising how much I wanted the world to know about my faith and thus delaying the public proclamation. And a small part of it had to do with drowning in the baptism pool.
Thank God for the eight years of swimming lessons that I didn't drown today.
But today truly will go down as one of the most memorable and meaningful days of my life. I was so scared last night as I was thinking of how the baptism process would be like - would I slip and fall? Or embarrass myself somehow in the baptism pool? But I prayed, and God reassured me. As I stood in the front pew today singing "Amazing Grace" during worship, I was filled with a strange sense of calm, even though I knew I was going to go up on stage soon in front of hundreds of people. I felt happiness and joy at the prospect.
Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
Standing in the baptism pool with Uncle Ivan's hands clutching mine and feeling small in front of the hundreds of people, I never felt happier. And for all those delaying their baptism because of the rumours of the freezing temperatures of the water, fret not because I think they found a way to heat the water up. It was lukewarm.
Of course, my baptism didn't go without its moments.
1) I didn't know you had to bring a towel. I knew we were going to get wet, but from the past baptism services that I had witnessed, these people always seemed to emerge out of the baptism pool straight into a huge towel. So I thought the church provided towels, just like a hotel. Well, turns out they don't and Nick had to get his mom to bring one for me. And, that huge thing that the people run into after they are baptised is actually this black sheet shielding you from the congregation in your wet, cold state.
2) I was the second girl to go, and for some reason, Uncle Ivan didn't fully immerse the first girl (woman) - her hair wasn't even wet! So I thought to myself, 'Yay! My hair won't get destroyed and I won't have to look too ugly.' But when it came to my turn, just as I was about to be submerged, I heard a voice above me hissing, "Ivan! Full immersion!" And so in I went, fully immersed, sputtering like a fish gasping for air as I came out. Water went into my nose as well. I must have looked SO ugly.
3) During the photo-taking session with the church elders and all the council members, one side of my earring dropped off halfway. I panicked and shrieked in typical fashion, telling the photographer to stop taking pictures for awhile because I simply couldn't take the picture without my earring. I am most definitely going to be remembered forever as the brainless photo whore.
'Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home.
I really want to thank everybody who came (not an award-winning speech because I really mean it) - my family, my cell group especially Sharon (I love the chocolate overload and the flower!), Julienne, Matt (even though you pronounced my name in a disgusting manner), Zhong Zheng, Linus and Felix, and Nick and Mae who I'll remember as going through the waters of baptism with me today. I thank God for each and every one of you.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20
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Saturday, April 08, 2006 2:33 AM
She
And the tears fall from her limpid eyes
It's so simple
Numbers add up
There's always an odd one
Why did she wait so long to realise it
To give everything
And yet an empty heart in return
But she's fine
She's always fine
As always
1 comment(s). Your thoughts?
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