Saturday, June 26, 2004  12:44 AM
my prince charming.
i'm in paradise. dreamland. heaven. whatever.
living beyond my wildest dreams. yea, that's it.
well, there's only one person who can make me feel this way, isn't there? haha. mmm the nkf charity concert in expo was amazing. it was an experience i'll never ever forget. especially since zaizai was there...he performed three songs (i was quite pissed it was only three, some stupid unknowns performed four!), "wo hu xi ni", "ni de ti wen" and "ai zai ai ni". and yes, he did his usual "zaizai ai ni" thing during the last chorus, which made the whole female population, including me, scream like mindless idiots. what can i say...he really does have this charm that made me smile throughout his entire performance.
so, it was pretty boring until zaizai came out. cos we had to listen to the likes of van fan, qiu ze, a-bao and brandy, jiang meiqi and penny dai, and i barely know half their songs. the mood only started cranking up slightly when qiu ze came on, doing this rock performance thing, which i thought he failed terribly, but we got good pics cos we went up close. and then when penny sang the meteor garden theme song, "ni yao de ai", the fans went wild by singing along.
then zaizai finally came on, and i dashed to the front immediately. haha, i was faster than most of the fans, who were probably still star struck, so i was RIGHT IN FRONT of the damn stage. it's the closest i've ever got to the stage during a concert. plus, i was in the centre, so i was ecstatic. he was so CLOSE. probably two metres away when he walked towards my area. i was snapping pictures of my dad's embarrassingly huge professional camera (i lugged it along, hiding my red face, just to ensure that i could get some good shots cos it has a powerful flash) non stop, cos he was so near and i hope the shots turn out good, they certainly looked good through the lens. i mean, for once, i could actually see his features clearly, and every single expression. during the autograph sessions, of course that's even better but it lasts for about two seconds. this one lasted for a whole twenty minutes to half an hour i think. my legs started cramping and the police and security was extremely tight, and the fans were ramming into me from behind, but it was all worth it. the policewoman was pretty nice to me though, she was smiling cos i didn't push. haha.
he was singing along, and then he came along to my area, and i swear he flashed one of his signature charming sweet smiles in my direction. i was swooning away. i think my knees would have given way if not for the fact that i couldn't feel anything already. he was amusing, as usual, when the hosts talked to him,(he did some imitations of his role in "zhan shen" and also talked about the pepsi filming in jordan) but the funniest part of the whole perfomance was when these fireworks and confetti sparked out suddenly from the stage, and zaizai was totally unaware of it. his whole body jumped and he was obviously shocked, giving a super cute shocked expression. haha. then he tried to regain his composure and continue with his song. :) horrifying point of the night though, cos i was right in front, this bloody photographer took a shot of me. like, the flash just totally went off in my face. i hope it doesn't get published though. if it does, i'll die of humiliation.
chang was there. he got free tics, the damn lucky guy. but of course, his seats weren't as good, but still. it was free. argh. jerry looked quite good in his outfit, but he still didn't look half as cute as zaizai. for obvious reasons. and he went off-key like crazy during "wo shi zhen de zhen de hen ai ni". but he was really nice when the hosts talked to him, extremely humble. other comments about the night...jiang meiqi is uglier than i thought, penny dai can't sing, and a-bao and brandy were really good. they sing damn well.
right now, i'm still star struck and lost in my thoughts. haha. i don't know when i'll ever snap out of it! that also means, no more studying for the night. haha. i swear i couldn't have had a better dream...cos it has become reality. :)
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004 10:39 AM
the days are drawing nearer.
exams are drawing nearer. do i experience the usual trepidation?yes. do i conjure up images of failing every single paper? yes. do i want to do well? well, of course. then why am i not doing anything about it!!! you'd think that would provide me some kind of motivation, but somehow i'm still bumming around the house , chatting online, and sleeping when i should be studying. but at times like these, the bed is all too tempting. i was trying to read my notes, but after five minutes, i looked longingly at the bed and gave in. i fell asleep for the next hour. that's how the entire week has been! argh! i need some discipline, like NOW.
saturday night was spent transporting myself back to childhood days. haha. i went to my twin cousins' place for my grandaunt's birthday dinner so i was trying hard to entertain the kids all night long, but they found better entertainment in the internet. kids nowadays are amazingly clever. my twin cousins, gregory and genevieve, are nine, and they're absolutely adorable, but also too smart for words. they were both surfing the net like experts (but playing neopets most of the time), and the ever-charming gregory was telling me the ENTIRE story of troy. and he's NINE! i would think it impossible for a nine-year-old to understand that show. well, i was wrong. he was blabbering on and on about the trojans and the spartans like nobody's business.
finally met up with april, ling, and sarah after a million years yesterday at holland village. we had a fantastic time stuffing ourselves at swensens and then proceeding to this quaint little rooftop cafe to have yummy tall glasses of iced chocolate. :) really miss them so much so it was great catching up and talking about all the stuff happening in our lives. i was rather wistful on the cab ride home after that.
i wish i never had to leave secondary school. those were the best years of my life. :)
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Wednesday, June 16, 2004 11:13 AM
the 30 hour famine camp.
it's been too damn long since i last blogged. i came in here forgetting my username and password! gahh. all i can say is that the june hols are flying by way too quickly, and i haven't touched a single page of my notes. that spells disaster, doesn't it?
went for a 30 hour famine camp a couple of days back. it was horrible. can you imagine not eating, bathing nor sleeping for more than a day? yea and it's not like we were clean either. they made us do such stupid activities in the light of pretending we were from a poor community that was currently undergoing a war situation. honestly, the activities they think up are absolutely irrelevant. do you really think that in a war, there will be some who can see and some who can't? then what was their point in blindfolding only one person out of the two who were supposed to be partners? on the second day, we had to collect newspapers from some housing estates on an empty stomach and lack of sleep. i don't know what kept me alive. but all in all, i was quite proud my accomplishments. haha. for someone who has never really missed a meal in her life, 30 hours of not eating sure is a feat.
i'm beginnning to go into that phase where i think life is nothing but a meaningless existence. that always happens when you leave me alone for too long and the exams are drawing nearer. i have all these pent-up emotions inside me which i don't even know how to start expressing. life isn't some idyllic scene out of a picturebook. honestly, i think it's more like living in world where evil lurks.
i'm starting to become so damn cynical.
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Thursday, June 03, 2004 9:52 PM
in search of greener pastures.
just a quick goodbye to my solace, my blog, that is. off to phuket and bangkok in thailand tomorrow, so here's goodbye for now! i hope i'll come back more tanned, with a whole luggage full of new stuff, for myself! haha. time to soak up the rays, and to do some babe-watching on the beach (those hot guys are going to be spied on...by me) and not forgetting, shop till i drop on my dad's bank account! yay! :)
bye blog, till the 9th of june! (which, i must add, is zaizai's 23rd birthday.)
mmmm...as you can tell, i'm feeling pretty high now.
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Tuesday, June 01, 2004 9:41 AM
my two grandmothers.
being sick is such a pain. i love sleep. sleep is one of the most important and most vital things in life to me. but when i'm sick, i just can't sleep! take last night, for example, i was running a fever of 38.3 degrees...and the number of times i woke up throughout the night was unbelievable. my body was going hot, and then cold, then hot, then cold, and when the blankets were on, i felt like i was in an incinerator, and when i threw them off, it was like being in a freezer. i gave up trying to sleep at 8am this morning, and that pisses me off cos i love waking up late and it's the holidays so i can finally wake up as and when i please. argh.
i visited my maternal granny on saturday. i've not been spending enough time with her, and i don't know why it took me so long to realise that. she's so cynical about life ever since her husband passed away, and sometimes i want to reach out and help her, but i don't know how to. i had a heartwarming chat with her though (yes, in what you would call my broken mandarin) and i felt so sorry for her. it doesn't help that she lives so far away from me either. she's lost all will to live and she keeps elucidating that she's just waiting to die because there's no point in her living any longer and she's useless. i wanted to cry and tell her that she's been the most wonderful grandmother ever...she was the one who brought me up and took care of me for the first six years of my life. and i did, but it all seems lost now. on the contrary, my paternal grandmother is so full of life it's amazing. she has a gazillion friends and talks to anyone she meets. i can't count the number of times she's told me stories about the "boys at the bus stop".
they're so different, and yet both so special to me. and in some ways, i love my maternal grandmother more. she's like a fragile bird with broken wings that needs tender care. and as long as she's still here, i hope to be that person who gives it to her.
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