Wednesday, May 25, 2005  9:39 PM
television kills me.
Carrie Underwood is my hot favourite for American Idol. She blew me away right from the auditions, and her last song in the finals tonight was brilliant - it was the most impressive, most beautiful song I've ever heard, causing Simon Cowell to say, "I think you've done enough to win this competition." BUT. Yes, big big big BUT. I still hold on to the belief that American Idol is rigged, in one way or another, which does not bode well for Carrie there, because in Season 1, a white female won (Kelly Clarkson), in Season 2, a black male won (Ruben Studdard), in Season 3, a black female won (Fantasia Barrino) and so... if all goes as planned, this season, a white male will win. Which would be, yes, Bo Bice.
Damn.
Yesterday's Maria Sharapova-Evgenia Linetskaya's first round match at the Roland Garros totally like, gave me a heart attack. It was so close and thrilling and I was so worried for Sharapova there, and my gosh, this is a first round match. But I'm so glad she pulled through in the end. Tennis matches like those really give me a heart attack, and half the time, I'm praying, and going, "Come on! COME ON!"
Flying to Taiwan tomorrow. Gosh I'm so excited, it's a dream come true. What would make my dream perfect is if I do bump into that certain someone. Ahhhhh. But anyways, great snacks, night markets, hot springs, celebrity gazing, shopping... HERE I COME!
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Monday, May 16, 2005 8:31 PM
secrets schmookets.
I feel like I know too many things. Too many of everybody's secrets. Lol, I think if I contracted a disease which made me babble uncontrollably, I'd be the first one everyone wants to kill. Haha.
I'm so hooked on Hong Kong dramas, after Triumph In The Skies and Survivor's Law, and I'm proud to say my Cantonese's improving. I've expanded past my name, "lei-hou", "mm-goi" and "do-jeh".
And hmmm, Uchenna and Joyce won Amazing Race, and I have to say that Joyce looks like a cross between Gollum (?) from Lord Of The Rings, and that weird creature from Star Wars.
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Saturday, May 14, 2005 10:52 AM
incoherent thoughts.
I feel that my life has come down to nothing, completely meaningless and suddenly I realise the complexity of humans. I'm completely, utterly devastated. Why is it that even the people I thought I knew turn out to be absolutely different beings later? Why am I the one listening to all these and suffering their pain, when my heart shatters into two at the things that they do? A single human being - Is it so hard to stand up for one's beliefs? Why do people repeatedly get dragged into a dark hole known as 'influence', and then do things that I could never imagine them to do, and somehow my lovely image of them is tainted. I'm not one to judge, of course, only our Heavenly Father judges us in Heaven, but I'm appalled, and the tears unsuspectingly roll down my cheeks as I think. And I can't seem to stop thinking either. I wish I weren't so bothered by the things that happen to people, why can't I just let go and not care? Maybe it's because I've set such high expectations of people, and how almost perfect I think they are and now that bubble has been burst, like a beautiful glass ball reduced to shards of glass. And somehow I know from the very beginning, I know it might happen, but I choose not to believe it until I hear the words coming out from the person's mouth. Why have they reduced themselves to this?
Why do I care so much? I hate being the one getting embroiled in other people's lives, and then have my emotions and feelings become a jumbled-up mess. Sometimes, I escape from reality. I pretend my life is as carefree as a newborn baby. But I can't escape, it just comes rushing back and I feel lousy. Is it because I'm too immature to understand the people that have disappointed me so? Because I've lacked the experience of going through what they've been through? Maybe, when I'm in that situation, who's to say I won't end up the same way?
I don't know what I want or expect out of the people I know best anymore. My heart just hurts, and I want to be somewhere away from all of this, where nothing can agitate or anger or sadden me any longer. My thoughts might have been incoherent to some, but still, they make perfect sense to me. Like how no one can always see what I see, or feel what I feel, and at times like these, you just feel like you're all alone.
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 10:02 PM
contradictory mother.
My mother is nuts. When I'm out of a job, she bugs me at times to get one cos I'm not doing anything meaningful in my life, and when I've finally got a job, she says that I'm terribly underpaid (which is true, but there's nothing I can do in the Singapore job society), and says that it's not worth earning $50 for the amount of work I do each day (that's eight hours of horribly boring admin stuff), and she exclaimed that she could just GIVE me $50 a day, and I wouldn't have to suffer. Well, that's an idea, but knowing my mom, she's all talk but no action. Haha. But yes, I am getting tired of working already, even though I've just been back at work for only close to three weeks, and I've got plans to quit at the end of the month. I do want to enjoy the rest of my holidays, and nowadays, he's all that fills my mind.
I'm hopeless. I think I might be in love, or at least, in like. :)
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 11:08 PM
bali, paradise.
Bali, Indonesia. Here's just a brief encounter of what happened (and what didn't).
Sun-kissed tan: Sun-burnt lobster. Right, I'm all red and burnt and trust me, it hurt for about two days after that. So I went tanning at Kuta Beach, and there were all these Australians lapping up the sun and soaking up the rays, and their skin turning into a delicious, golden tan. So I did the same, except it didn't turn out the way which I foresaw. And yes, in a few weeks, I WILL start peeling in layers, and people will start calling me the walking onion.
Tattoos: Two. A flower vine one on my left arm and a butterfly behind my right shoulder. Really, I only wanted to get the butterfly one, but these beach vendors at Kuta are really persistent, you know, like when you do more you get a better discount and stuff like that. He wanted me to get one more on my ankle, but I declined adamantly. Really, I know when enough is enough. My dad already thinks I look like some kind of witch.
Manicure: Got a nice French manicure for just about $4, well I can't say it's all that professionally done since they approach you on the beach and all, and you're not sitting in some fancy salon, but for $4, it's awesome.
Pedicure: Nice natural pink with pretty white flowers. She started painting before I even agreed. The beach vendors certainly have a way with doing business. That cost about $6, which is of course, cheap, but everyone at Kuta has the exact same design on their toes.
Resort: Modern, spacious, luxurious and beautiful. The Harris Resort at Kuta's just opposite the beach, and the service is excellent. While I was lying at the deck chairs (yes, I didn't stop tanning at the beach. I continued by the hotel pool), the pool guy (?) came up to me and started chatting about everything under the sun, which cured me of my boredom. It can get boring when you're just lying there. Talk about intuition and initiative, he must see plenty of girls like me all the time, choosing to lie in the sun when there's a nice shady umbrella about two metres away.
Shopping: Okay, shopping in Bali is only excellent at Kuta Square, and that place is a mirror image of a typical Australian downtown area. Roxy, Billabong, Ripcurl, Volcom, Voodoo Dolls, Insight, Rusty and what have you...You name it, and they've got it. The selection is huge, but the prices were just about the same as Australia as well, which was abit of a letdown, cos it meant I didn't buy much. Well, except for two new bags from Mooks (a lilac duffel and a small brown handbag), a pink Ripcurl tank top (now that was on sale! $12), a blue racerback with sequins, a green Ralph Lauren polo (it is so cheap there, cos I think they've got a factory there or something), and a handful of VCDs.
Beach: Kuta beach is soooooo fantastic. Picturesque, with tons of surfers, and you actually feel like you're right there in Bondi Beach, Sydney. The place might as well be bought over by Australia. But of course there are the beach vendors who start harrassing you once you set up your beach mat and stuff like that, but I guess we're all trying to earn a living here. But other than that, fine sand, lovely clear water and some hot guys strutting around. Perfect paradise.
Braids: I didn't dare get the whole braid hair thing done with the beads and all, cos I do have to go back to work, but I got four braids done for free. Although I did have to remove the two on top when I went to work today, just in case.
Food: Food's not that cheap in Kuta, mainly because it's a tourist spot, with the exception of MacDonalds, which is like, almost free. But they have such great stuff, and I got hooked onto strawberry milkshakes. It almost became my daily staple, and I had it at least three times in the four days I was there.
Pubs: The Maccaroni Bar. Amazing ambience, low lights, great music and a strawberry daiquiri. Enough said.
Friends: I did get to meet some new people on my trip there, which was awesome. At the bar (see above), I talked to this 23-year-old British guy called Savio for over an hour, and it was great fun. And on my third day, I chanced upon these group of young Christians from Australia that are actually part of this programme called "Youths with a mission" and they were singing Christian songs on the beach, and nothing ever sounded more perfect. Got to know this Norwegian girl called Alla, and this Asian girl called Grace, who's just a year older than me, and she's now studying in Northwestern University in the States, and she'll be coming down to Singapore in July, so we planned to meet up then. We hit it off right away, which is amazing. :)
Cute Australian guy: Well, no cute Australian guy for me, but there was a cute American guy. From me being ready to yell at him for snagging my window seat on the plane, to just walking along the Esplanade in Singapore, I'll never forget the longish sun-streaked blond hair, those amazing blue eyes, and the yellow Lance Armstrong band that is now my treasure.
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Thursday, May 05, 2005 1:46 PM
sun goddess in bali.
Going to Bali tomorrow. I need a tan so badly, so I guess that's the one good thing about taking a break off work, and from this country. I'm looking forward to the rejuvenating massages, and hopefully to get my nails done too. Pretty French manicures or a new cherry-pink colour on my nails with those fancy designs! And may I come back sun-kissed and bright and healthy looking, like a beach bum, instead of the presently pale me clad in boring work wear. Seriously, they should allow people to dress more outlandishly, or creatively at work. Almost everyone here is in either black or white, I mean, it's not a black and white party, for goodness' sake. Although the black/white thing includes me as well. Sigh.
Driving was pretty fun yesterday, the instructor really makes a whole lot of difference to the lesson. Unlike my previous instructor, yesterday's was really nice, and I made less mistakes and we finally got out of the circuit and on to the road! It was pretty scary, but thrilling as well, me whizzing down the roads in exhilaration (although I was scared shit of cars that kept turning into the main road, and I won't call 40-50km/h whizzing), but still, it feels freaking fast when I drive. Nasty instructors should just get sacked. They demoralise you so much, those stupid idiots. Urgh, okay lunch break's almost over. Back to work...
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