Thursday, August 19, 2004  5:40 PM
prelim countdown.
countdown to prelims : five days.
ought i feel the certain sense of trepidation? well, yes. i am scared. then why is there a whole stack of notes, still untouched, with balls of dust slowly starting to form?
i realise this exam is of second most importance this year. it determines your level of confidence in preparation for the a levels. but that little man called "procrastination" took over my entire being all over again.
should i volunteer myself for those scientific experiments where they freeze your body for the next century?
that sounds like a definite possibility.
0 comment(s). Your thoughts?
Wednesday, August 18, 2004 5:12 PM
loss.
loss. i'm one of those people who never really knows how to deal with loss. i hold things very closely in my heart, and it becomes inherent in me, that ability to love, to call that certain thing mine. sentimental, you might say. so when that something has been relentlessly tugged away from me, or brutally snatched away, i break. i break outwardly and inwardly, and it feels as if my heart has been split into a million shards, ready to cut. i want to vent the mounting frustrations on someone, to let it go and to be free of the pain, but i've never found my solace in doing that. instead, i choose to curl snugly in my protective covering and forget about everything that has happened. banish myself from all thought and will myself to believe that it had never existed. i never have the courage to face the problem, because when i do, the glistening tears simply threaten to fall and i feel like i'm tormenting myself even more. many say that you have to let it go in order to forget, but i never want to, because the phase in between hurts more than anything. i've lost something today, something that i prized with my heart and soul, something that i turned to whenever i was feeling down. it would elicit a smile, and the warm tender rush of emotions would come like a torrential river and make my spirits soar. it's gone now, and i don't know what to do. as of now, i'm avoiding it. i've let myself shroud into that veil where i never have to face the brutal reality.
maybe, as we go through the inexorable passages of time, the pain will vanish gradually, and i can finally be myself again. but now, i don't know who i am anymore.
0 comment(s). Your thoughts?
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