Monday, January 19, 2009  12:53 PM
Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Do you think hermits lead happier lives?
Those days I slept with my eyes shut but my mind wide awake Those days I watched the sunrise for a week from the cracks in my window Those days I fed myself nothing but water and hello panda Those days I sank deeper into the sheets in the mid-afternoon Those days I feared facing my own emotions Those days I lived in my shell and pretended reality didn't exist in my world Those days I locked myself up and trusted no one Are those days back? I fear. I'm still not ready to be hurt a second time over.
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Sunday, January 18, 2009 12:30 AM
White lace
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. -- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I love weddings. Because in the midst of all the fussing about bridesmaids' dresses and flower arrangements is a testament of love. Most people forget that part, and many weddings play up the festivities at fancy hotels and grand ten-course dinners, but at the very heart of all that, which is what everyone should be celebrating - love between the newlyweds. But love and the grace of God - which allows us to love because He first loved us - gets downplayed alot and people are numb to that because they get too caught up in the programme.
Sharon's wedding today was held in church, and it was a simple affair. Yet she looked as beautiful as a fairy, and her husband waited for her at the altar like a five-year-old child on Christmas morning, grinning from ear to ear. And the most poignant part of the event today was when her father read out 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, because for the very first time, I focused on the words and tears welled up in my eyes. The whole concept of love finally struck me, the all-encompassing nature of it and its omnipotence in every aspect of life.
Love isn't easy. But like the couple that I witnessed get married today, I believe in it. And like it's friend grace, you can't buy it and it's not something you can force your way into. Still God created us to experience love, and that in itself is amazing to me. Love that protects, hopes, trusts and perseveres, I see bright sunny days ahead.
A day of too many thoughts, and I'm trading my expensive glass-slipper dreams for a real celebration of outpouring love at my wedding, because if that day is to come, it is nothing but His grace and gift to me.
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Friday, January 02, 2009 6:42 PM
My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room
It's funny how the first few conversations I had when dawn broke on New Year's Day was about love. We were at east coast park after a night's worth of jumping in and out of the pool and stunting up and down the monkey bars at 4am. The five of us sat like drifters on red plastic chairs perched on the edge of the sand and stared at the sunrise beckoning beneath the clouds. It was a beautiful morning, taking in the fresh sea breeze and the smell of barbecued pork and I sat lost in my thoughts and dazed state and watched a young couple ran to the shore and cuddled as they watched the sunrise.
"They won't last the next two months," said either Paul or Martin.
Such cynicism coming from 24-year-olds. I've felt the same way for a long time, for the most part of last year, that perhaps love wasn't meant to last, maybe love wasn't for me. I've ignored that feeling, pushed it away and denied it. I believe it exists, and my favourite picture testament to love is seeing elderly couples together, walking in parks or helping each other on public transportation. But when I think about love, the sad reality of rejection, breakups and imperfection hits me more than the fuzzy, warm, fireplace feeling which I've somehow lost along the way.
Maybe I need to embrace it again, the belief that there can be love for all in this world. We're not talking romantic love yet, I need to love others stemming from within myself. Selfless love for my family, friends and those around me. As I step into my graduating year, I've been thinking of a career path the opposite direction of what I've always dreamed of, which frightens yet excites me. If I do, I'm moving away from the exhilirating, fast-paced journalism world into one where I'm going to feel real emotions and love others before myself. That's what makes me happy for now, knowing that I'm making a difference in this place which lacks love.
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