Tuesday, July 25, 2006  12:09 AM
The '4' quiz thing
Got tagged by dear Fel some time back.
4 names you go by:
- Amelia
- Melia/Melie
- Mills/Meils
- Ame
4 things that scare you:
- Cockroaches, especially flying ones that have a trajectory of its own
- Driving a manual car up a steep slope in a traffic jam
- Being a lone spinster when everyone else is happily married
- Long, seemingly endless, dark, narrow tunnels where there's an obvious lack of oxygen
4 of your everyday essentials:
- Lipgloss
- Handphone
- Cash or any credit/debit card
- iPod
4 things you are wearing right now:
- The essential plain black tee
- Denim shorts
- Underwear, obviously
- Light blue hoop earrings with gold flecks
4 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
- Hillsong
- Switchfoot
- Oasis
- The All-American Rejects
4 favorite songs (at the moment):
- From the inside out by Hillsong
- Straitjacket feeling by The All-American Rejects
- Testify to love by Avalon
- Chasing cars by Snow Patrol
4 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
- God-centeredness
- Trust
- Little qualities about him that never cease to amaze or surprise me daily
- The fact that I can tell him anything in the world
4 truths:
- I'm sensitive, shy around strangers, stubborn and I care too much about what other people think.
- I have a very limited attention span. I mean, VERY. But that doesn't really apply in long and meaningful conversations. Which also reminds me, I abhor small talk.
- I cry very easily.
- I hate waking up early. Little sleep annoys me, but not as much as waking up early. So for example, I'd rather sleep from 6am to 12 noon than from 10pm to 6am.
4 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
- A cute or nice nose
- Long eyelashes
- His smile
- Good dress sense
(I now want to add nice shoulders too, after reading Jules' entry and I realise its importance)
4 of your favorite hobbies:
- Shopping (No prizes here)
- Having long, meaningful conversations (I don't think that counts as a hobby, but who cares)
- Playing tennis
- Reading chick lit by the beach while tanning and drinking a strawberry milkshake
4 things you want really badly:
- A Kate Spade bag
- To continue growing daily in my walk with God and to serve Him in the ministry that He's calling me to
- A lifetime's supply of free Ben & Jerry's and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
- For all my jeans/pants to fit properly! Which either means thinner thighs or wider hips. Of course I'd go for thinner thighs.
4 places you want to go on vacation:
- USA, especially New York and California
- Spain
- Hong Kong (no matter how many times I've been, every single time is a new experience)
- South America
4 things you want to do before you die
- To get married and have kids, hopefully a boy named Joshua and a girl named Ashley
- To be the editor-in-chief of a top fashion magazine
- To have travelled to as many destinations around the world with the people I love
- To fulfill everything God has put me on earth for
4 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick:
- I love shopping, and it's a process, mind you. Time is never a factor when shopping.
- I hate computer games because I suck at them
- I love romantic comedies
- I did not know a single football rule until this year's World Cup
4 things you are thinking about now:
- The outfits I should pack for camp
- How I super dread waking up early tomorrow for camp
- His grass-stained clothes, his unkempt hair and his careless beauty... (HAHA. Sound familiar, Scarlett? I edited it a little though.)
- The outfits I should pack for camp
4 stores you shop at:
(What, only four?!)
- Topshop
- Miss Selfridge
- Warehouse
- Zara
4 people who should do this:
- Julienne, even though she'd probably do it over her dead body cos she's too cool for this
- Sharon, who's usually more obliging
- April, because... I've known you for eleven years
- Jingli, because I know you'll never do it and you're rolling your eyes at me right now
5 comment(s). Your thoughts?
Sunday, July 23, 2006 12:40 AM
Picture-perfect week
 Guess who's finally back in town? :)
The one who got mistaken for a maid at the clinic, a man at the immigration checkpoint at the airport and a young boy when sneaking out of school by climbing over the gate in junior college.
I am looking forward to more surprising identities because when the bestie's around, you never know what to expect.
This week has been nothing less than those picture-perfect weeks you envision yourself engaging in during the holidays. High tea at Goodwood Park with the glam girls and discovering my penchant for having savoury and sweet food together. The horror on Julienne's face when she exclaimed, "Is that a chicken wing?!" - when her eyes landed on my plate laden with pear tarts, chocolate truffle cake and yes, a chicken wing. It was a lazy yet glamorous day with that unique twist when we decided to head down to the giant florist to buy ourselves flowers. It was a declaration of being tired of buying clothes, accessories, shoes and bags and putting an end to the stereotype that girls can only receive flowers from their boyfriends. It was almost liberating being there in that sub-zero degree cold room with every colour of spring grabbing your attention. And in between rubbing frozen fingers, taking pictures and gushing over the tulips and lilies, I bought myself a gorgeous bouquet of twenty cream-coloured roses. We walked out of the florist with self-satisfied smirks.
Another trip to Sentosa this week with the extra-huge scoops of Ben & Jerry's, the frisbee competition and playing bridge on the sand. I realised that I super suck at frisbee and my fingers have turned buttery after the years of not playing any sort of ball game. Nonetheless, as with all things, the company makes the difference.
I also signed up for Campus Crusade camp that begins next week. I hate camps and I'm usually berating myself the night before every camp why I signed up in the first place. But something compelled me to sign up for this one, and I'm praying to go forward with an open heart to seek what God has to tell me in the three days I'm going to be stuck at the caves. And it's not going to be that I will start appreciating dirty games. I escaped from the dirty games during YAG camp because I was in charge, and now that I'm going to be one of the participants, it changes my perception of this whole getting dirty thing and I feel for myself like how I felt for the campers when I poured that disgusting mix over them just about a month ago. When my team leader called me two days back to inform me of the dirty games, my immediate response before I could stop myself was a horrified "Oh dear".
Tell me, do you get that feeling when you're struggling with issues that the Bible doesn't clearly state in black and white and you just don't know what to do about it? This issue haunts me at times like these when that little angel and devil in my head decide to spar once again. But I'm reminded of what someone said at camp that made a difference in my life, and I think the angel is slowly emerging victorious.
As much as I hate this to become a photo-blog, I find that these captures of the last week are too close to my heart to refuse:
A jumble of thoughts that spilled when scrawling in pink on that Starbucks napkin this evening.
"A dazzling diamond
Or a bouquet of a thousand roses
Might make my day
But your boyish smile
Is worth so much more."
3 comment(s). Your thoughts?
Tuesday, July 18, 2006 1:59 AM
The secret charm of my solace
I'm feeling better. Everyone should be allowed nights like these sometimes, walking through the ellipses and arranged vistas of the park to the disarray of benches by the jetty. A heart so burdened; I had the option of basking in misery within the four walls but the calming sea did a world of wonders. The lone couple moved away shortly after our arrival, and Bench 1B was ours - a place where I could freely express whatever I felt and the secrets would only be known to the crashing waves against the shore. Under the darkened starlit sky with the moon a blend of soft orange and pink peeking out beneath the clouds, a perfect scenario with the improbability of awkward silences ever occuring because a pause in conversation would be comfortable, reflective and depths more. I dislike forced conversations or babble about the mundane; it stifles me and I flee from them even if it means one less friend. I need raw jewels I can count with my fingers, not a colony of figures for the world to bask in. The smell of gasoline acts as my weird sense of comfort, but the waft of salty seawater and familiar breeze served another purpose altogether. The bright lights in the distance seemed to fade into the horizon and I wondered what lay beneath that. A slice of heaven, perhaps. Life is starting to look like a masquerade where I'm hiding beneath that glittery mask of accepted social behaviour, but I want to break free with that image of someone who will take me for who I am. The strains of Baybeats would be renowned to our ears and a world with you would be an idyllic paradise. I believe in the power of prayer with childlike innocence, and with eyes tightly shut, standing up with nothing but the endless sea and the world beneath my feet - I gave my whole heart, hopes and dreams to the one who consumes me from the inside out.
'Till we meet again,
the solitary spot we'll forever hold close.
3 comment(s). Your thoughts?
Thursday, July 13, 2006 11:01 PM
Moving on; she moves along
The past few events have made me realise how time flies, and that I'm no longer a teenager, but a young adult on to my second year in university, and I'm supposed to be mature with the whole no-more-excuses-for-doing-stupid-things mindset. Admittedly, I'm scared of the future. I dislike change, preferring to live in this sentimental world of my past. But this inexorable passage of time just takes us forward so relentlessly that I barely have time to think, and before we all know it, we are (hopefully and prayerfully) going to be married with kids and then our life will just revolve around the kids. Mmmm. Back to the past week - Sharon's birthday at Hyatt was a lovely event to remember. This glam girl, also known as Scarlett and Yan, has joined the twenty club, leaving only one of us at nineteen. That also means that more than half a year has gone by, and we are getting older faster than we think we are. Dinner at Pete's Place stuffing ourselves silly with every kind of bread you can imagine complete with spreads and olive oil; service excellent and company nothing less than perfect. Desserts at Marriott (oh the mango pudding!) was an ideal finish to a glamourous night out. Soft spots. What do you think it really means when you say you have a soft spot for someone? To give in more easily, to like someone slightly more or to have the tendency to be biased? Or is it really a subtle way of describing a possibility of something more? That conversation with the girls will be one I'm likely to remember for life. School Uniform Day in church on Sunday - the silly brainchild of Sharon and I, supported by a few others in church - was a (I can't think of any other word) cute event and to me, a tad nostalgic as we donned our school uniforms once again. I miss those secondary school days of ponytails and white canvas shoes, daydreaming in the sweltering heat during math and the nothing-else-can-compare joy of recess. And the moment I put on that blue skirt, I felt like a kid again despite the fact that I would have broken about a million school rules. Dyed hair, too big earrings, ankle socks, coloured shoes, short skirt, tucked-out t-shirt... And yesterday, freshmen orientation camp at Sentosa. Has it already been one year? When I watched the freshmen cheering the same cheers I had reluctantly mumbled a year back, it hit me that I was a sophomore now. A second-year student, not the youngest in the course anymore - maybe it's finally time to grow up and take studying seriously. Oh, but what fun yesterday was! The glorious sun made certain of my golden tan, and the whole experience on the chairlift and the luge was spine-tingling. We screamed like idiots when we were told to stand at the designated spots where the chairlift would just lift us up, and when we went higherhigherhigher with our legs dangling and flip-flops threatening to fall off, I hardly remembered to admire the breathtaking scenery. It was more of screaming and marvelling at how high up I was. Typical me. And the luge experience; I did feel somewhat like a F1 racer! Release to go faster, and pull in to slow down - I loved it when there were bends and I could decide how much to angle the luge. Absolutely intoxicating. Oh yes, and I finally got Rongjun - Mr. I-don't-smile-when-I take-photos-cos-I-hate-taking-photos-anyway to SMILE (or his definition of a smile) for a photo with me. (See above!) Haha. I can hardly believe he's a programmer at camp. And this is the same person who left halfway during the camp last year because he just couldn't take it. Time changes us, moulds us, makes us look different - but really, I'm just that little girl trapped inside looking out at the world with wide-eyed trepidation and hope at what the future will bring.
6 comment(s). Your thoughts?
9:57 PM
Straitjacket feeling
The song by The All-American Rejects that's spinning my life right now.
Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straitjacket feeling
So maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
Trust you is just one defense
Off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
To take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
And when the memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
And just the thought of you
I fear it falls away
Lovelovelove it. :)
2 comment(s). Your thoughts?
Tuesday, July 11, 2006 1:15 AM
All good things come to an end
I will miss those World Cup nights.
Not just for the cute players, the excitement of a goal, but most of all - for the cameraderie, friendships and bonds that were built in the month past.
The night that almost half of YAG ended up at my function room and stood united against that unmarried legal force that threatened to throw us out.
Balmy sleepless nights, Macs and the sunrise at East Coast Park and being on the verge of turning into a block of ice under the lethal air-conditioning.
Corduroy couches turning into beds and the ability to pretend to cheer even when one is half asleep.
A collective wave of sadness when Brazil got knocked out, but the many moments of ecstatic glee when the yellow and greens prevailed.
Despite France coming in runners-up in the end, and being on the verge of tears when Zidane got sent off - I thought that head-butt was such a senseless thing to do, although I blame Materazzi for triggering it - plans for the big night in church put us all in trigger-happy mode:
Dressing up in red, blue and white;
Painting our nails in patriotic fashion on the Hymnal,
Taking photos like there was no tomorrow;
Grilling and eating satay and curry puffs,
That amazing worship session before the match where I felt like I was at a Hillsong concert;
The confession and thanksgiving prayers that humbled me once again,
And being around people that can so completely make my day.
Time to find something else to do now that World Cup is over. My body is already so in-tuned to Germany time that it's not funny. Shopping, eating, tanning - anyone?
3 comment(s). Your thoughts?
Friday, July 07, 2006 2:33 AM
Plastic dolls
I like this new font and size, and I can't believe I did this whole changing of font and size on the template myself. Somehow, I never felt that Arial could really express my thoughts. But something still feels funny. I think the current font on my links is a little too big for this new look, but I know peanuts on how to change it.
Well, one thing at a time. This is what happens when you don't pay attention during the HTML lesson during computer class in secondary school, but wrangled with the plastic microphones in the lab and role-played ordering from Burger King instead.
I watched my hair transform into the brightest red I've ever seen my crowning glory go (according to Julienne, think Milla Jovovich from The Fifth Element) in a short three hours. With her around to gossip and idle my time away with, the process was enjoyable and reminded me much of the ideal rich and luxurious lifestyle I like to pretend I lead. Which brings me to the subject of simple girls.
I've had this conversation with both Jules and Shuhui, and I've come to realise how much I admire simple girls - to be sweet and innocent and someone who couldn't care less about dolling up. But it also hit me in the face that I can never be that kind of girl. A part of me is moulded by the worldly materialism of owning the prettiest dresses, the loveliest necklaces and the most gorgeous heels. I'm not sure how to face up to that myself. Shuhui challenged me to step out of the house without accessories, and immediately I was struck with a mental image of myself without accessories in my mind and I shook my head vehemently. I saw myself as paler, less attractive, less confident and I felt uncomfortable with that image. What kind of person have I become, then? Someone who dresses up because I genuinely like fashion or someone who dresses up because without that glamourous facade, I consider myself less - I'm stumped.
Perhaps the layers I put on prevent others from knowing the real person that I am. But good or bad it's hard to tell - maybe I really am just plastic.
8 comment(s). Your thoughts?
Monday, July 03, 2006 12:28 AM
Careening through a day
I think I've officially gone through every emotion in the last twenty-four hours, including brain dysfunction that comes about from no sleep.
It all started with high hopes, squeals and anticipation as I looked forward to seeing England and Brazil meet in the semi-final. So I waited over an hour for my maggi mee goreng at Simpang Bedok in the sweltering humid weather, chorused with the crowd when England failed to score and stared in disbelief when Wayne Rooney got red-carded and sent off. Just as I was about to lose my patience in the 80th minute, my food came so that quickly turned into instant delight as I ate like a hundred hungry chickens.
Nick sped us back home at an alarming speed with my heart threatening to give way and Sharon and I screaming at him to slow down. And the next thing we knew, we were sitting at the edge of our seats watching that dreadful penalty shoot-out.
And then, England fell.
I slumped back into the couch with a Snickers ice-cream bar, chewing thoughtfully and comforting myself that I still had Brazil to count on. The minutes ticked by quickly, and soon I made everyone shut up to hear Brazil sing their national anthem and to swoon at Kaka's handsome face. Who knew that it would be the last time? Sharon, Daryl, Munchy, Nick and the two Marks all laughing at me because I shrieked whenever Kaka came on screen. The match began and I slowly felt all the hopes of Brazil making it into the semi-final trickling away like the grains of sand in an hourglass as none of the Brazilian players made it anywhere near threatening Fabien Barthez's goal. Nonetheless, everyone in the room held on to that little glimmer of hope that the stars of the 2002 World Cup would pull of a miraculous feat even at the 92nd minute, seconds away before the referee blew the whistle to seal their fate.
That dreaded whistle did go off with France leading 1-0, and me on the verge of throwing bananas at the French team, first for sending off the cute Spanish team, then landing my favourite Brazilian boys plane tickets back home. I felt like murdering Thierry Henry and Zinedine Zidane, even though I have a small hunch that I will end up supporting them if they get through to the finals, because Zidane has this awesome charisma which is really rather charming.
I moped for the next ten minutes, riding Daryl's terribly high bike around the darkened paths of my condo, before heading upstairs to mope some more and go online to confirm the terrible truth. At 5.30am, the bunch of us set off to Macdonalds at East Coast Park to eat and to catch that lovely sunrise. I should really stop being so lazy and watch the sun rise more often. As I balanced on the edge of the footpath and the vast expanse of sand staring out into the horizon, smelling the salty scent of the sea with that gentle breeze through my hair, I closed my eyes and prayed for that beautiful Sunday morning.
Like all the times I'm alone with God by the beach, my favourite song comes to mind.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storm
Father, you are King over the flood
I will be still, know You are God
Quietly, I sang that familiar tune to myself as I reflected upon the events in my life, surrendered my insecurities to Him once again and felt a calming peace encompass me.
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades.
I found myself in church just three hours later, seeing the very faces I had just parted with at YAG camp a week ago. Struggling to stay awake during the sermon proved easier than I thought with Sharon's super-energy drink she bought back from Japan. Sitting in front of the stove during lunch at the usual coffeeshop turned my hair into a smoke-infested mess. I love my Glam Girls because they really understand how that feels. When complaining to Julienne a few hours later after the cell group meeting, she cast me an emphatic gaze and pronounced solemnly, "I feel for you." And that kind of comfort cannot be bought with a million dollars.
Cell group at Janis's proved to be a comfortable experience as I discovered that long plush sofa-bed thing to be a treasure and quickly claimed it to be my love. It's what every house needs. It's right smack in front of the television and allows you to recline 180 degrees with gentle support for the head - the first thing I'm going to insist on purchasing when I get a place of my own. So I stayed in that position for two hours as we shared, giggled, reflected and teased Janis about poor little Jeremiah until I almost felt myself being moulded into the soft springs. So that desirable sofa-bed thing brought out the pig in me - I simply refused to get up after the pretty much sleepless night.
I love the designers, architects and founders of that sofa-bed thing.
Xinyi's surprise birthday party turned out to be not much of a surprise with the ever so bright Corrie writing Xinyi a birthday card apologising, "I'm sorry that I won't be able to make it to your surprise birthday party tonight." Haha. But whatever it was, it was an enjoyable time of feasting on satay, salami, sausages, chicken, Ben & Jerry's, strawberry milkshakes and chocolate cake. And when the bunch of church people get together - the usual routine of the "Aaaah" game, Taboo and Murderer ensued. Of course not forgetting the many unglam shots that can only come out of Jon's evil camera.
In a day, she will become independent on Independence Day. I can't believe how long I took to get that one.
I'm home, all showered and dressed for bed in my huge Winnie the Pooh nightgown which never fails to make me feel like a little girl again. And I'm off to the dreamy world where only some dreams come true.
(Like, that Brazil is going to win the 2006 World Cup.)
3 comment(s). Your thoughts?
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