Monday, April 21, 2008  11:11 PM
The twentysomethings loss
Another year, another birthday, a fleeting sense of a period of time transpiring.
6, 7, 9, 11, 16. Somehow I only remember those birthdays. And of course, you don't ever forget your twenty-first, which was a delightfully dizzy memory I'll always remember. Those Disneyland teacups really jolt themselves into your brain.
It's sad how this year all I can think about is a loss of idealism - maybe it's all part of venturing into adulthood and moving on from the forever-young 21 you don't want to leave behind. I feel like last year I've been through the scariest rollercoaster ride of my life, the highs, the lows and the upside-down loops. The anticipation of the ascent and the mind-blowing drops. Somehow, throughout the year, I lost a part of myself. The holed-up little girl inside that only knew how to be loved faded away slowly - to become wary, edgy, tired and frightened of the world around her. You all grown up will roll your eyes and say it's about time, babe - it probably was. I said goodbye to childish chocolate-stained smiles and perfection in others. It was a trade-off to a world I never quite knew but grew to accept and understand. And the only way around it was to grip on steadfastly to my faith and to those that never did let me fall completely.
I celebrate the joys of imperfection because it only heightens His perfection. I bid farewell to the illusions of the princess in the yellow gown and I look to the long road ahead. Maybe someday my plastic slippers will still turn into red-soled Louboutins, but that will be a new lease of life altogether.
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Friday, April 18, 2008 12:39 AM
Captured by...
Joseph, and I really miss Melody.
Gary looks positively retarded.
Thank God for Roomie.
I was looking through old photos. This one's not one of those perfectly angled shots with ideal lighting and a gorgeous backdrop, in fact it probably has nothing to boast of - but we were so very happy.
I'd do anything to recapture that moment.
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Thursday, April 17, 2008 9:29 PM
The job
I'm not going to have a coherent flow of thought in this post, because I spend the most part of my day thinking my brains out at work.
As you can see, it's starting to not make much sense.
I haven't written here in awhile, but that's because I've channelled my energies elsewhere. When you're writing at work, you don't quite seem to want to continue writing when you come home. My daily routine has involved more in devouring one Hong Kong drama serial after another - hey, that keeps me in touch with the Cantonese I picked up while living there that I don't intend to lose.
I don't want to write too much about this oft-thought glamourous job except -
It really isn't as glamourous as it is. Yes, you say tell me something new. Here we go, we'll start with what I like about it:
1) PR firms treat me like royalty.
2) I have a stash of makeup and beauty products to last me five years. My father glanced at it and said I never have to buy makeup again "for life". Obviously, he was exaggerating there.
3) I can spend half an hour plucking my eyebrows and dolling up at work and everyone thinks I'm working very hard "testing the products".
4) I shop on my job.
5) I get media discounts.
6) I attend events at posh places like St Regis and pretend I'm older than I really am. I love checking out the restrooms in these places - sometimes I stay there longer than necessary to avoid the horrid small talk.
7) The spa stories are the best to write. Because you get to spend whole afternoons getting massaged on the job.
8) To date, I've had two free lash perms, two facials (one with champagne), one massage, one body scrub.. I'll add more as I remember.
9) Oh, the fashion shows. There was a week I attended so many I saw the same models at different runway shows. And, being part of the Singapore Fashion Festival was cool.
10) I can wear anything I want to work. No limitations there, we go all out in the magazine industry - we wear false eyelashes, we preen ourselves for hours, we carry Chanel bags, we look perfect every time we enter the office with sky-high stilettos... no, seriously.
11) I was kidding, no one wears makeup to work. We write about it so much that we're sick of it. I go into work every day looking like I just woke up. The Chanel bag part is true though, everyone seems to have some sort of branded thing on them. And we do preen ourselves when we go out of the office. So we are vain, come on don't tell me you aren't.
12) The free treats/food we always get.
13) Long lazy lunches the team likes to go for once there's an occasion for it - someone's farewell, someone's birthday, the magazine revamp...
14) I like everyone in the editorial team.. Except (well, we'll come to that in the hate section).
15) Seeing my bylines in the magazine!
Hates:
1) StylistbitchystylistbitchystylistbackstabbingstylistwhoI'msurehatesmetoo.
2) The food. We have no food. We have two stores in the canteen - Chinese and Malay. We also have some other industrial canteens around us that don't get much better. We have to walk out fifteen minutes in the hot sun just to eat something rather decent. That's why everyone in this industry is skinny. I swear.
3) I'm finding it very hard to think of hates. Why is that.. I really hate...
4) Ah. Deadlines. Pressure pressure pressure. I've worked till 9pm every day this week. My record has been 11pm. I hate deadlines. They loom above your head like a blinking sign reminding you it's due.
5) Pinning clothes for photoshoots because I always poke myself with those dreaded pins.
6) Edits. They make you feel worse than a lousy B grade in school.
7) The air-conditioning. It's a stupid sub-zero degree freezer. I wear my thick winter jacket I use in 14-degree Hong Kong temperatures and it's not enough.
I guess the job's not that bad because I'm getting used to it. There are days of course where I don't want to get out of bed just because of the mundaneness of it all. But working long hours and getting paid peanuts is something I'll have to consider before deciding if I want to return into this industry. Sure, my deputy editor gets the latest YSL bag dumped at her table randomly, but that for consecutive 1am nights in the office?
You have to really love the job. I love fashion, I love writing, I like knowing about new places, I'm even starting to take an inkling towards beauty - but after just four months, I think about how long I can do this for. It's tiring, keeping up with trends, with the newest things and being up to date about everything. And the frivolity of it all gets to me (okay, just sometimes). I know everything there is to know about Dries Van Noten's floral prints or the best long-lasting lipsticks but unfortunately I've hardly been informing myself on world news. It's just all been about magazines.
But well, I've learnt:
1) More about writing than I've ever learnt in my years in school.
2) I've become a pro at scanning press releases and coordinating information.
3) Beauty writing is probably the hardest thing to write ever. Harder than anything in Public Affairs Reporting or Feature Writing class. Try turning something so inconsequential into something intellectual. Which is really what they expect us to do - you rack your brains so hard to write about yet another whitening product.
4) All these beauty products are essentially the same. They just come up with some cool new ingredient to put into it and voila - we have to write about it.
5) There's a fine line between what's in and what's not in fashion. It really is all about the person. Matchy-matchy is definitely out. It's about that single something that defines you or stands out or has that added detail, really. Whether it matches or not, people still admire it. And I still believe it's not about following trends, it's about sensing and feeling happy in whatever you wear.
6) It's my personal belief by the way, what I just said. I'm not trying to convince you.
7) Eponymous is my new favourite word. It's used everywhere in the magazine and I never knew what it meant before this but I'm using it all the time now. Eponymous, eponymous. Sounds like hippopotamus.
Before this starts to sound like a thesis... I've actually written a whole lot, come to think of it. It's almost bedtime, which has adjusted itself to hours that I've not slept at since secondary school. Well since I've spent so long on this, our May issue's out - my feature article's in it! That has to be my most accomplished thing since I joined. If you still don't know which magazine I'm writing for, ask me personally. I'm not about to mention anything here and get charged for divulging secrets (you never know what stupid coded rule this might be in the journalism world).
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