You don't know pain until you've been through happiness - and so these images have encompassed the last month or so, the happy tingly bubble part of it which I'm thankful exists because I would be in a sanitarium otherwise.
But somehow I still feel like I'm walking through life in a hazy daze of not knowing, not understanding and not realising what led to this labyrinth. If I had to write an article answering the who's, what's, when's, where's, why's and how's of my life, I would be at a complete loss. Unfortunately, it isn't as black and white as public affairs reporting.
Amidst the glitz and glamour of the Salvatore Ferragamo fashion show where I stepped into a world completely unlike my own, mingling with the celebrities, making small talk and enhancing social skills, picking at bite-sized expensive treats and an overdose of champagne, I felt like a totally different person. A socialite, a person behind the dolled-up facade - as much as I enjoyed the experience, I wonder how these people can live their lives like that. I dislike social events for that reason, but I must say I adored the fashion show. The dresses, bags and heels donned on perfect figures, legs and bodies - in the world of fashion perfection. That night I pushed aside the editor dream for awhile, the idea of running a fashion show and styling the models seemed like a much brighter and exciting prospect.
The Waraku dinners and Marmalade-afters with people that have changed my life to be the source of comfort through the thorny rides, and SATC marathons without the series itself. Still, picnics in the comfort of your own home? With a posed photoshoot and keel-over type laughter after that - everyone should have silly days like that. And of course, Garibaldi with the bestie. It was somewhere that I've always always wanted to go, but was way out of my budget. It didn't disappoint though, first class service, an ambience that makes you feel like you've been transported to the rich colourful past, coupled with bubbly champagne and swoon-worthy Italian food, I'm going back when I've an occasion to imprint.
An unexpected birthday surprise for the youngest birthday girl in the group brought the four of us together again as well, and that night at Holland Village was really reminiscent of the past - the post 'A' level Hong Kong trip, and of course, China, where it all started. It has been ages since we've last celebrated a birthday together where everyone was present, and I'm glad that the chemistry hasn't changed. Add in new members, new situations and new phases, but the core of the friendships is really, love.
Then you have the night out with the girls whom you've known for six years, and suddenly you're your 15-year-old self again. Because they were the ones who went through the ugliness, the MTV filming, the radical birthday presents, the sleepovers where no one slept but spent hours filming the funny speeches on Star Awards - and they know you for the person you really are. I want to see the world through my 15-year-old eyes once again, the pretty rose-tainted days where happiness was found in stopping by Orchard Road after school and eating char kway teow on the bus ride home.
But as you grow older, the unfortunate truth is you actually get wiser about things, and the world falls into place in a completely diferent light. The idealist you know yourself to be slowly fades away to become the realist you hate, although there are parts of yourself you want to cling steadfastly to. I suppose that's why Stardust and Enchanted are two of my favourite movies this year - okay, and Ratatouille. Because it signifies hope, and you come out of the movie feeling like a young girl once again where everything is shiny and bright in a place where love prevails. Sure, I did enjoy TheQueen and the likes of Letters from Iwo Jima, but it doesn't leave that sugar-high feeling. Of course, that cynic that has somehow stemmed its way into me this year shortens that feeling, but the momentary bliss is all I need.
Shinjuku, Harajuku, Ginza and Mount Fuji with the mother is next up on the list beginning tomorrow. And maybe the magical experience of Tokyo Disneyland, although I believe nothing will be as magical as the first one. Some mother-daughter bonding time, and hopefully we don't get into too many fights. I've had enough of those this year already, I'll pacify her and let her think we're on Gilmore Girls.
