Saturday, October 11, 2008  11:51 PM
Did you fall for a shooting star
Tonight I looked up at the sky as I sprawled out on the lounge chair and the sky matched my mood exactly: cloudy. Not a star in sight, the clouds obscured my entire vision of what lay beyond, with the moon struggling to shine through.
Out of sorts, out of place. My emotional heart felt strangely heavy and burdened. I wanted to let it go. For the first time in a very long time, I didn't know where I belonged and happiness seemed to be slipping away like sand between my fingers.
Topics of conversations suddenly disinterest me, words and actions attack me more than usual because I know my fortress is not as formidable as before, people in their warm cocoons with cubes of chocolate suddenly don't involve me, and me, in my little grey confused world.
I don't know how long I was there for and how long I spent singing to myself and covering my ears and thoughts fleeting in and out of my head and how long I spent watching the clouds slowly billow into different formations. I think I needed it, me and God, tears and convictions, half-empty and half-full.
I spent the rest of the night on skype, not talking, but just feeling the presence of a pillar of support far away, and finally felt like myself again.
So I lift my eyes to You Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will walk on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You
3 comment(s). Your thoughts?
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