Tuesday, July 18, 2006  1:59 AM
The secret charm of my solace
I'm feeling better. Everyone should be allowed nights like these sometimes, walking through the ellipses and arranged vistas of the park to the disarray of benches by the jetty. A heart so burdened; I had the option of basking in misery within the four walls but the calming sea did a world of wonders. The lone couple moved away shortly after our arrival, and Bench 1B was ours - a place where I could freely express whatever I felt and the secrets would only be known to the crashing waves against the shore. Under the darkened starlit sky with the moon a blend of soft orange and pink peeking out beneath the clouds, a perfect scenario with the improbability of awkward silences ever occuring because a pause in conversation would be comfortable, reflective and depths more. I dislike forced conversations or babble about the mundane; it stifles me and I flee from them even if it means one less friend. I need raw jewels I can count with my fingers, not a colony of figures for the world to bask in. The smell of gasoline acts as my weird sense of comfort, but the waft of salty seawater and familiar breeze served another purpose altogether. The bright lights in the distance seemed to fade into the horizon and I wondered what lay beneath that. A slice of heaven, perhaps. Life is starting to look like a masquerade where I'm hiding beneath that glittery mask of accepted social behaviour, but I want to break free with that image of someone who will take me for who I am. The strains of Baybeats would be renowned to our ears and a world with you would be an idyllic paradise. I believe in the power of prayer with childlike innocence, and with eyes tightly shut, standing up with nothing but the endless sea and the world beneath my feet - I gave my whole heart, hopes and dreams to the one who consumes me from the inside out.
'Till we meet again,
the solitary spot we'll forever hold close.
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