Friday, July 07, 2006  2:33 AM
Plastic dolls
I like this new font and size, and I can't believe I did this whole changing of font and size on the template myself. Somehow, I never felt that Arial could really express my thoughts. But something still feels funny. I think the current font on my links is a little too big for this new look, but I know peanuts on how to change it.
Well, one thing at a time. This is what happens when you don't pay attention during the HTML lesson during computer class in secondary school, but wrangled with the plastic microphones in the lab and role-played ordering from Burger King instead.
I watched my hair transform into the brightest red I've ever seen my crowning glory go (according to Julienne, think Milla Jovovich from The Fifth Element) in a short three hours. With her around to gossip and idle my time away with, the process was enjoyable and reminded me much of the ideal rich and luxurious lifestyle I like to pretend I lead. Which brings me to the subject of simple girls.
I've had this conversation with both Jules and Shuhui, and I've come to realise how much I admire simple girls - to be sweet and innocent and someone who couldn't care less about dolling up. But it also hit me in the face that I can never be that kind of girl. A part of me is moulded by the worldly materialism of owning the prettiest dresses, the loveliest necklaces and the most gorgeous heels. I'm not sure how to face up to that myself. Shuhui challenged me to step out of the house without accessories, and immediately I was struck with a mental image of myself without accessories in my mind and I shook my head vehemently. I saw myself as paler, less attractive, less confident and I felt uncomfortable with that image. What kind of person have I become, then? Someone who dresses up because I genuinely like fashion or someone who dresses up because without that glamourous facade, I consider myself less - I'm stumped.
Perhaps the layers I put on prevent others from knowing the real person that I am. But good or bad it's hard to tell - maybe I really am just plastic.
8 comment(s). Your thoughts?
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